Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Jones the Grocer

Oh hello everybody!!!

I've been so freaking busy these days I haven't got any time to update anything really.

Busy with the shop, busy with work; so busy I've only got time to read 2 measly book this week.

Well let's get started, we headed to Jones the Grocer about a month ago, the one at Dempsy hill and I'm just going to come right out and say...... I HATED THIS PLACE. With a really really thunderous passion.
Okay first of all, we cabbed over because as we all know, Dempsy is a discriminating place to people who doesn't drive. Well if after this review you would still like to try Jones you can always head to the one located at Ion, which I really don't think would be any better judging from the fact that this place has zero redeeming quality.

Jones only has a few tables up for reservations so you just have to queue. I'm fine with most of the places that does not offer reservations because they want to keep their tables open for walk-ins which is fair, depending on which side are you standing on. Now, the thing is, usually those places that do not offer reservation service, are places that are in accessible locations (by that I mean easily accessible by trains, i.e at malls etc) that gives your customers a choice as to whether they want to wait or head to other places or take a number and walk around, whatever. My point is that you DO NOT say you do not accept reservations when your location is some obscure location where customers are not given a choice as to whether they want to head to another place. But in this case, we are told to try our luck when heading down because apparently service personnel who is handling the phone calls are unable to estimate the amount of time we might have to wait. No estimation, just try your luck.

But, because I've heard SO MUCH good things about Jones and I was SO HUNGRY, I had to go down and try it.
So after a treacheous journey, we finally got to Jones. The staff working there basically deem us to be poor and lowly beings and thus are rude and condescending to us. BUT, because we are generally kind and patient people who happens to be really small in build, we forgive them. I mean I actually did, for a moment because I'm like " I  REALLY HAVE TO EAT THIS SHIT".

So we wait.


And wait somemore.
When there is finally a table outside, so we just had to take it, arboh you want to wait EVEN LONGER?


I really don't think my disgust could be captured in this photo.
First of all, the moment I sat down, all I could see was the dirty utensilS (YES PLURAL) and all that I could feel is the wobbly table. I mean yeah I could always ask for a change of utensil that's not really a huge deal but if your entire table is filled with really dirty utensils you really shouldn't bother since the rest of the utensils are as dirty. Ok to give them credit, bf didn't think its THAT dirty and that normal human beings wouldn't exactly be threatened by it. I don't know, I was really appalled. I mean they could call themselves 'grocer' but their price isn't exactly hawker fare, I would expect cleaner utensils.

So we ordered. And the person taking our orders just brought the word 'condescending' to another level. Didn't smile, looked at us as if we couldn't afford this meal, and giving the air of 'I don't give no shit about you because you ain't an expat'. It wouldn't even be half as bad if he's the only one that behaves that way, but NO. The entire staff behaves in this manner. YEAH I KNOW RIGHT.

So we ordered an English breakfast and I had toast and egg. I've already lost majority of my appetite by then, it was such a huge turnoff. Like for realz turn-off. Those that makes you so mad at the kind of disrespect you're given you really wanted to leave but because you waited for so long and is so terribly hungry you just had to wait. Ippudo kind of wait.


We had to wait SO LONG for our food I literally had so many of this kind of pictures thanks to the new level of boredom I had. Needless to say, I had so many of these pictures because bf was just so bored.

And after the terribly long wait, listening to all the expats talking and the family next to us sucking up to the expat and suddenly having an accent that does not sound local at all, the food finally arrived (which at this point of time, bf was already shitting in the toilet. YES THE WAIT IS THAT LONG).

See, we went there because both of us are such FANS of English breakfast. Bacon, poached eggs, sausage, sauteed mushrooms and toast. It's like heaven on earth so what's there not to like?
And our food came, giving them credit, the arrangement on the plate is really fancy, more atas and less homely as compared to Wild Honey.

So fancy the leaves are sparsely lying limply on the plates because less is always better....right?
I've always believed that a picture speaks a thousand words but in this case, I have more than a thousand swearings and curses in my head when this thing arrived. I mean at $20, it's not exactly really pricey but CMON. I can almost imagine the plate going from one chef counter to another like it's on a conveyor belt and the 'chef' just dumping the food on the plates like in a canteen.

My toast and eggs. Nothing fancy, just toast and eggs, literally.

But, since my mama always taught me to not judge anything by it's cover, taste should take priority since we're eating right?


You should ALWAYS judge a food by its cover.

The bacon is too tough (TOUGH mind you, not crispy).
The sausage tasted weird (I don't know, maybe we have got cheap man's mouth).
The mushroom was not that bad, it tastes like mushroom.
The bread is just not what I like and the butter tastes like margarine (Maybe it's margarine? Maybe it's a healthy version of butter so that's why it doesn't really taste as full as margarine).
Let's now talk about the poached eggs. Poached eggs are my absolute favorite thing in this whole wide world. AND THE POACHED EGG TASTES LIKE SHIT. There's no flavor in the eggs at all. It is just eggs. No seasoning, nothing. And even as a person who doesn't cook, I know that the most crucial time to add seasoning is RIGHT AFTER IT IS COOKED. But no, it goes to your table completely un-seasoned and you season "to your liking". Not what they explained, they don't really explained but I am hoping that that's their reason behind not seasoning any damn thing. Maybe that explains why I "only" had to pay $20, since I had to season myself.

So after we had the food, I just had to drink coffee. And we ordered the cuppucino, which is what $5 or $6 for the small one.

This is what arrived.

I have no idea if what you see is true to life but let me show you one more picture.
That, my friend, is a TEASPOON. That is how freaking small this cup of coffee is. It's not expresso, it's cuppucino. My god. Seriously. And the best part is that the waitress DID NOT at any point of time, let us know that's the size of a small cup.

Bf being amazed by the small-titude of the cup. I am in awe as to who would actually manufacture such small cups FOR COFFEE.

To reinterate how much we hated the place, we didn't finish either plate of our food and left the pathetic cup of coffee there after one sip, not that there's many sips to begin with.

And now I shall end my post with a verdict: that I shall NEVER, EVER head back again. Go back and be judged, for what? No service, no good food. No redeeming factor.


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